an imperfect first try

perfectionism, the history of 'perfection' & starting a substack

I came across this quote at age sixteen and loved it so much that I wrote it on a flashcard to stick over my desk. I read it every day and, though that flashcard has since disappeared, I still think of it often. When the imposter syndrome creeps in, I say this line aloud as a reminder that there is value in trying.

It’s funny though because, as with so many of the things we pick up in childhood, I cannot tell you where this quote comes from. When I searched for its creator, I found an iteration nothing like the one I copied onto my flashcard. Reid Hoffman writes that “If you are not embarrassed by the first version of your product, you've launched too late” - a similar sentiment, though too ‘business-like’ for it to resonate in the same way…

The key word in that first quote - the word which made me pause and think and write it down on a flashcard - was that idea of ‘perfect’. It’s a word we throw around all of the time, and, by the age of sixteen, I had been told by a dozen teachers that I was “something of a perfectionist”.

“If you look for perfection, you'll never be content.” (Tolstoy, Anna Karenina)

Perfectionism targets the things which matter most.

“Perfectionism frequently leads to procrastination and paralysis. When we feel overwhelming pressure to perform perfectly on the first try, we put off assignments and study until we feel ready to be perfect – a feeling that, of course, never comes.” (Sanderton)

Sometimes we are just so scared of getting it wrong that we hold off starting at all. What if now isn’t the right time? Surely, if I wait just that little bit longer, things will fall into place and I will finally do it justice? If you’re a perfectionist, you’ll relate all-too-painfully with the procrastination which accompanies the most personally important things on your to do list.

While I still love the sentiment of the first quote (which is from and not from Hoffman), I do think it needs a caveat. Because your first try is already perfect in its own way, at least according to Aristotle…

“The next relative meaning of the term perfectio is in form as opposed to matter, which may also be conceived as act versus potentiality or intelligibility versus unintelligibility. The actual is always more perfect than the potential, and God as pure act is metaphysically the most perfect of all. Insofar as a thing is in act, it is perfect.” (Bloomfield 219)

I’ve underlined the key sentiment here. Perfectio, for Aristotle, is about action: “the actual is always more perfect than the potential”.

It’s a sentiment we see also in the ontological argument for the existence of God. Developed by Anselm in the 11th century, this argument seeks to prove the existence of God through the very fact that He would be a ‘perfect being’. In order for him to be fully perfect, Anselm says, he must exist. Existence would, after all, make him more perfect. This argument obviously has its problems — and Richard Dawkins offers a rather amusing rebuttal in The God Delusion — but I’m simply trying to evidence that, historically at least, something has to exist for it to actually be perfect. The perfect thing might exist in our minds. But, there, it exists only as a promise. It cannot be perfect unless it comes into fruition. For it to be perfect, we must first do something.

David Larbi makes a similar (and excellent) argument in his book Frequently Happy, where he uses the present perfect tense to analogise perfectionism. Larbi reminds us that the present perfect tense is used to describe things that have happened (i.e. “I have finally written this article”), and that things can only be perfect once they are finished. Indeed, the word ‘perfect’ comes from the latin perfectus which literally means ‘completed’.

If I have completed something - no matter how poorly - it is, then, in its own way, perfect. And I am determined that I will complete this first Substack article, even if it is not everything I hoped that it would be.

I have been meaning to start a Substack for ages. Months now. Every week, it patiently rejoins my weekly to do list and, every week, I find myself unable to check it off when Sunday comes. And now, here we are on yet another Sunday… and it is still there (suddenly stubborn) at the bottom of my to do list. I can’t put it off any longer. If I do, perhaps I’ll never start (you see, intentions have a terrible habit of getting fed up and walking away if you don’t give them the attention they need).

I wonder how many first Substack articles are about overcoming perfectionism? About new beginnings and imposter syndrome and just starting something, for goodness sake! I don’t have the figures, but I bet it’s a lot (I should stress that this is a guess founded on absolutely zero evidence and you absolutely should not trust me on that. Perhaps most people start Substack with a personal essay on the world’s best vegetable… I don’t know because I haven’t (yet) read and assessed every first Substack article).

I have been waiting because I wanted my first article to be perfect - because I wanted to create and share something that really matters (the meaning of life perhaps, or a piece of avant-garde research on the philosophical value of pineapples?). I’ve dreamed of writing the perfect piece of writing which will set the tone for everything I hope to share in the future.

But how can I know what I want to write without starting? It’s all very well thinking about what I enjoy writing, but the most sure and tested way of knowing what I enjoy writing is to just put something up and see what happens. For it to be perfect, I need first to act.

At a certain point you have to stand up from the armchair and see if the reality is the same as it looked in your head. And so, in the end, this article is simply an acknowledgement (maybe even an apology) that this is not ‘perfect’.

References:

Bloomfield, Morton. “Some reflections on the medieval idea of perfection”. Franciscan Studies, vol.17, no.2/3, 1957, pp. 213-237.

Larbi, David. Frequently Happy. Penguin, 2025.

Sanderton, Ellen. “How to overcome Perfectionism and Procrastination”. The University of Queensland, 2023, https://habs.uq.edu.au/blog/2023/06/how-overcome-perfectionism-and-procrastination.

Satlow, Michael. “Philo on Human Perfection”. The Journal of Theological Studies, vol.59, no.2, 2008, pp. 500-519.